I think I figured out how to keep myself connected a bit more to my practice sessions. Usually, I begin with hopes of reigniting the old flame, but then I am unsuccessful because I expect myself to fall right back in where I left off in my music major highness. When this does not happen, I am left stunned and unimpressed with myself. Instead of wallowing in the reality of a talent gone cold, I have decided to begin journaling a short summary of each run through of a study or piece. I write down exactly how I felt I did, as if I were critiquing a student. I jot down what I did wrong, what I did right and what I need to work on for next time. I also notate the thoughts I had while playing, keeping track of my state of mind. I enjoy writing so combining the two really gives me an eagerness to begin my next session. This eagerness is not something I have experienced in quite sometime. It is refreshing and beautiful.
Excerpt 12/29/15: My goal is to get a fuller, richer and more fluid sound. I think my problems with my right arm fluidity and confidence spawn from my timid nature of practicing, not wanting to be heard or to disturb. I need to get over that as well.
Excerpt 12/30/15: This run was the best so far. Clear and confident. Tone much better, larger percentage of correct notes. Caught 4th finger mistakes early in the etude. Trouble with 4th to last measure, need to spend time practicing that measure.
Taking it slow I am. My usual problem: Wrap myself up with such energy towards something and end up overdoing, overshooting, overexpecting...and then I burn out. The flame burns rapidly and then it dies just as fast. This is not ideal when trying to begin again on a path once steadily traveled and most recently abandoned. I want it again. I really do. Such a shame to let something so precious go to waste. I will practice a bit every day, and then once I make that habitual, I will practice a bit more every day. I will write after each run through. My husband got me this journal for Christmas. As soon as I ripped through the wrapping I knew it was something special.